Written by Paul Blake
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Tuesday, 3 May 2016

image for Prince Really Did Like To Make Doves Cry
Prince kept these dating pigeons apart for days in order to record their sad cries.

Minneapolis, MN - According to sources closest to the recently deceased Pop/Rock/Fashion and Home Furnishings Icon, Prince, he actually did enjoy making doves and other birds cry, which was the impetus for one of his most beloved songs.

"I remember it like it was yesterday," told Phil 'Tweety' Robertson, a well-renowned Audubon Society birdwatching big-wig in Northern Minnesota.

"I'll never forget the first bird-watching trip Prince showed up at. A bunch of us were going way out into the woods, up near Wonkawinki Lake, to see if we could spot some rare doves that migrate down from Canada every year.

"It was late October, very cold, but Prince was wearing head to toe leopard print silk pajamas, matching hat and a long purple silk scarf. When I told him that doves, and most birds for that matter, hate the color purple, he looked me straight in the eye with a cold, blank stare and said, 'I know that... I know.' He wouldn't take the scarf off.

"Later, when we did finally find a flock of the rare doves, they were all making a horribly sad sound, and I clearly remember telling him, 'It's your scarf. This is what it sounds like when doves cry.'" "I never would have guessed what would come of it."

Tweety Robertson said that this was the only time Prince ever showed up for one of his bird watching excursions, but others way closer to Prince than Tweety ever hoped to be, have confirmed that, yes indeed, the iconic recluse did keep doves and other birds in cages in his basement, and that he liked to go down there from time to time and record their sad and lonely cries.

"Once," told recording engineer, Axel Cable, "Prince made me listen to about an hour of this one dove, just pining away. It almost sounded human after a while. When I asked Prince what the bird was crying about, he told me that the bird was broken-hearted.... and, that he was responsible. When I asked him what he'd done, he just looked at me with this hollow stare and told me, 'I have my ways.'

According to Mr. Cable, it was shortly after this strange episode, that Prince recorded what was to become one of his all-time biggest hits, When Doves Cry.

"But he never did released the entire album of bird-crying songs that he so desperately wanted to, which is maybe what killed him in the end. But it was probably for the best. He was smart enough to know that the world wasn't ready for what he always referred to as, 'his masterpiece,' The Weeping Macaw Trilogy. I heard it only once, just a couple of years ago," tells Mr. Cable, "and I have to say... that was probably enough. Man, that little dude sure liked to get his freak on with those birds!"

No word yet on if Prince's father was really too bold, or if his mother was never satisfied.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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