Written by Katy324
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Topics: Geek, waste

Sunday, 30 November 2003

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Average Joe's

With all the reality shows lately hitting the circuits, it's hard to decide which are suitable for human viewing. Some are uber-geek romantic, like 'Average Joe', but some are a complete waste of time, such as 'Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.
"Is this chicken or fish?" A now infamous quote said by none other than bleachy-blonde genius, Jessica Simpson. Well, it IS called 'Chicken of the Sea' so, that title could be easily misconstrued, right? I mean, the rest of the world knows that it's fish, but that doesn't include mega-million selling singers, does it?
I really do feel sorry for Nick Lachey. After going solo with his aptly-named album 'SoulO', he's had it rough. Who wants to be known as one of the members of the dead boy group 98 Diseases, er....degrees I mean. 98 Degrees. (Why 98? 98.6 not good enough?) And, on top of THAT fame, he has to deal with his love-bunny, despite all her, er, flaws.
This show could not be even remotely considered for public viewing, unless you were craving a great laugh or two. Even so, before watching, make sure to visit your two friends, Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan.
Amidst all of the other reality series, Like Joe Millionaire 2 and Survivor 32:All Our Contestants Are Over the Hill, a small ray of light shines through like a beacon to those of us who are unpopular. Those of us who never got to go to Prom, or on dates, or even leave the coziness of our parent's houses.
Yes people, I am talking about 'Average Joe.' A group of supposed average men compete to win the affections of Malena, a woman who is seemingly model-esque. It's a show that brings average America to our television sets, as we watch it with the best t.v. watching ability that we Americans can muster.
I myself was rooting for Dennis, the sugary nice and innocent guy who Malena evily booted. Now, most America and myself are rooting for Adam, the nice-guy who always has a smile.
However, the producers thought it would up ratings to add three model-esque men to the pickings. Yes, America was appalled this happened. (Government conspiracy, I tell you. They concocted this cruelty in Area 51. I know, I've been there..or have I?) Now, we are forced to watch as Malena falls for gooberly-handsome men, who, as she even questioned, are possibly homosexual.
Now, we will all sit and hold our breath as the last two episodes of 'Average Joe' unveil the final decision. So, take out your highschool yearbooks and be proud of the geek you were. Then, tell your father that you're going out to find a 'nice' guy or girl, grab that checkered sweater vest with the fiery zest inside you, and nicely ask for the keys to your mother's 1991 navy blue minivan.
Power to the Uber-Geeks. I'm with you all the way! (Oh, and all of the guys Malena booted, they're availible.Go get 'em.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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