Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 11 January 2016

image for Sean Penn chap's up to El Chapo!
El Chapo just loves our Madge, and Sean does too!

Ex-Madonna hubby and general film-star hooligan, Sean Penn, has furthered his interest in Middle America after supporting Haitian earthquake victims by chapping up to El Chapo, notorious prison breaker and multi billionaire Mexican drug dealer (and great fan of ex-wife, Madge)!

Sean thought he would do a good deed by meeting up with El Chapo, but nearly missed him as he was on the run at the time and was about to sprint out the door like a Mexican Roadrunner with red hot chillis poked in his rear end!

Penn just managed to grab him by the hand and pose for a photo as Mexican undercover agents stormed the building, but El Chapo being what he is, a bit nifty, smelt the danger and left Sean with a solid handshake, dirty grin, and a hell of a lot of explaining to do to the intruding agents! However, they forgave him and begged Sean to get personalised autographs from his ex-Madonna.

In the interim, El Chapo has been caught yet again and his team of specialist tunnelers are already digging a 5 mile tunnel towards his favourite 5 star residence, Altipano Jail, to rescue him from incarceration.

El Chapo has told his team to slow down with the digging because he actually quite enjoys prison life; 5 star cuisine, visits from his hired prostitutes and generally anybody worthy of his audience who is allowed to pop in and out as they please.

Another reason why he told his team to slow down is; it might take him 1 to 5 years to be extradited to the US! This is obviously a FBI cover up because it would not do having El Chapo incarcerated in the country of one of his great friends and allies, President Obama!

The FBI are hoping he might have an unfortunate slip in the showers and never recover from a good old-fashioned prison gang-bang!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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