Startling news of reports that Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen is in fact a Time-Lord from Dr Who's home planet of Gallifrey are emerging today.
The story started when he was caught on-set of the BBC's "The Cheap and Tacky Makeover Show"; the one where they do up somebody's house with three sheets of cardboard, an old plastic bucket and a roll of crepe paper.
The foppish dandy was seen making 'adjustments' to a door that wouldn't close properly, with a funny looking piece of kit that looked like a pen but emitted a strange blue light.
Co-star Carol Smillie said:
"As soon as I clocked what Laurence was up to I knew that it was a sonic screwdriver! Billy Piper and I are great pals and she'd often told me about how David Tennant couldn't stop fiddling with his"
The Spoof asked the effete jessy for a comment and we were told by a spokesman for the BBC:
"This is preposterous nonsense. If Laurence was in fact a Time Lord then how do you account for his totally normal dress sense? All Time Lords have been characterised by outlandish costume so you are barking up the wrong tree there chum"
However later that day our investigative reporter Jason Skulker, who tailed Llewellyn-Bowen, says he saw the fey presenter disappear into a wormhole in the space-time continuum before emerging back out again five minutes later with a large portion of Gallifrey Chicken-fried rice.