Written by JustADrummer
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Thursday, 17 December 2015

image for Local Death Metal Band Becoming Too Predictable
Picture of totally unrelated guitarist

Local metal band "Hardly What The Name Indicates" now struggling with identity crisis after being told by fans they were "too predictable," and "not br00tal enough". The band is known for generic blast beats, highly technical arrangements, and impossible-to-understand vocals like every other death metal band. They also fall under heavy criticism for their use of a marimba and marching toms on stage.

Percussionist Cat Boyd commented on this, saying, "Yes, we have a marimba. It may not be metal, in fact, it's mostly wood, but we are still br00tal!". When asked to comment, the lead singer, Sully Supreme, responded with a series of clicks, animal noises, and a loud screech. The other band members were unavailable to comment, having been arrested the previous night for causing a "circle pit sinkhole" at a local venue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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