Written by President Bush
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Monday, 4 December 2006

image for Shamu Drags Michael Richards 200 Feet Under SeaWorld

(SeaWorld) - Michael Richards, on his nationwide "Ok I Called You N-words N-words I Apologize SHEESH" tour, apologized again to a NON-African American audience at San Diego's SeaWorld. Shamu, the 9,800lb killer whale suddenly LEAPED out of the pool, grabbed Richards by the rump and dragged him kicking and screaming 200 feet through the SeaWorld pool.

Shamu, bored with her game surfaced and SPAT Richards (sans rump) back onto dry land leaving him within an inch of his life.

One of Richards' agents told The Spoof, "Richards won't be pulling THAT particular stunt again standing too close to a SeaWorld pool with a killer whale in it!"

Doctors at San Diego Westwood Hospital labored over 9 hours to surgically re-attach Richard's posterior (recovered from Shamu's mouth) but sadly were unable to save his rump.

"I'm not mad" Richards from his hospital bed in ICU told reporters. Richards went on to describe the de-rumping at SeaWorld saying, "I know what I did was wrong at that Comedy Club and I'm 90 percent full of remorse about that but that N-word killer gangster hip-hop WHALE is a different STORY.

"ALL I was doing was standing BY the SeaWorld pool Jerry trying to apologize when all of a sudden this whale LEAPS out of the frick'n WATER grabs me by the rump and .."

Unconfirmed sources say that even the KLAN is distancing itself from Richards, saying, "Woah, now that's a bit too over the top for US even and we're the Klan" This is in reference to Richards and his apparent unresolved deeply embedded hatred, anger and uncontrollable bigoted tirades against all races that are not "Richard's" (which sources say could be Klingon).

Doctors at San Diego Westwood Hospital say that Micheal Richards is comfortable, resting well, sipping grape Koolaide through a Spongebob straw even though such simple tasks as going to the bathroom without a rump are still a B-word.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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