Written by Simon Saunders
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Thursday, 30 July 2015

image for Former Top Gear Trio Sign Up For New Amazon Prime Show
Clarkson, May and Hammond waiting for the make up lady

After months of speculation, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond have bitten the bullet and agreed to front a show for Amazon on a three year deal.

The new show has the working title, 'Three Middle Aged Boy Racers In Ill Fitting Denim Behave Like Idiots.' Probably not the catchiest of titles, and will most likely not be the actual title of the show.

Clarkson said of the deal, "I feel like I've climbed out of a biplane and into a spaceship." Some people probably wish he was in a spaceship, far far away.

His comment is undoubtedly a sly dig at the BBC, a place he was happy to work at for over two decades until he got himself fired. Or rather, his contract wasn't renewed after he whacked a producer following an argument over whether sausage rolls should be served hot or at room temperature. A problem we've all wrestled with over the years, I'm sure.

May commented, "Cock. I suppose I'll have to work with that fat twat (Clarkson) for the next three years." Very much so James.

It's believed May will continue to front shows for the BBC where he'll pretend to recreate childhood toys as a excuse to behave like an over grown child.

Hammond, straining to be seen from behind a desk, yelled, "I can't remember my own name half the time! Hahahaha! I literally cannot believe my luck."

The trio, affectionately known as, 'The fat racist sexist one, the likeable one, and, the short arsed one,' are likely to pocket millions of pounds following the move to Amazon. Although their audience will probably be smaller than their pay cheques. Amazon chiefs are hoping they can recreate the success of 'Top Gear.' The show was the BBC's most streamed last year, a fact unlikely to have gone unnoticed when Amazon approached the three denim clad petrol heads.

We can exclusively reveal the new show will feature hilarious high jinx items such as driving cars into walls at slow speed. Hitting each other in the face and groin with car parts, and a twist on 'Star In A Reasonably Priced Car,' called, 'Someone Jeremy Wants To Shag In A Reasonably Priced Bra.'

They will also complete challenges which are in no way fixed to ensure a certain outcome.

Meanwhile it was also revealed today that the three presenters had earlier turned down an offer from ITV for the opportunity to remake former BBC sitcom 'Last Of The Summer Wine.' Describing themselves as "too old" to entertain the idea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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