Written by StevenPoland89
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Topics: Jewish, Black, Ed Sheeran

Monday, 27 July 2015

image for Ed Sheeran is voted "Most Influential Black Jewish Writer."
Ed is said to be delighted with the award.

Despite not actually being Jewish or Black; Ed Sheeran has just been announced as the Most Influential Black Jewish Writer ever, by the International Black Jewish Committee. The news follows on from a week when Sheeran was voted the most influential black artist by BBC Radio One Xtra.

Spokesman for the IBJC, Jon Woods, had this to say: "We're enthralled to be able to give this award to Ed. His work within the Jewish community is really something. He's not even jewish and he's producing these results. It really is something. These awards aren't about skin colour or religion anymore. They're about what's within."

It's a bold yet expected move by the IBJC after they named Jessie J as Most Influential French Animal.

Sheeran was unavailable for comment but a close personal source did have this to say: "Ed grew up listening to all of the Jewish writers and desperately copied all of their style. It's only right that he is now credited with being an influence to everyone everywhere that ever existed, and he's got loads of black mates."

I did reach out to the Black Jewish Community for a comment: "You need me man, I don't need you."

Sheeran will be present at Carnegie Hall this evening to accept the award for "Most Improved Irish Opera Singer."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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