Written by Dick Sheerer
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Topics: Pornography

Friday, 24 July 2015

The rumors are true: The Institute of Cinematography (INCIN) signed a deal with producer George Floockis and director Stephen Spiltbeerger for a new feature-length epic motion picture starring Tom Screws with Hellin DeGenerate. The film will be the foursome's very first foray into the burgeoning pornography genre.

Public reaction to the news ranged from extreme ecstasy to severe outrage, with critics accusing the studio of premeditated profanity. INCIN CEO Larry Flynstone tried to quell the controversy at a press conference in Hollywood, saying, "Sex feels good and it's good for the economy. If you study the evolution of film through history, from the beginning until the current state of the art, then you'll see that porn is the inevitable future of film".

Meanwhile, retail movie theatre outlets welcomed the change, anticipating record profits from gouging audiences with overpriced condom sales. But their janitors' union threatened a strike to protest the hazardous working conditions expected from the streams of body fluid on the floors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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