Written by Duff
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Topics: Fashion

Friday, 1 December 2006

image for Model With Two Arses Sacked By Fashion House
Spanka - Modelling C&A's 2005 swimwear range

Top fashion house man at C & A is at the centre of a row about the sacking of its face of 2006.

In a shock announcement today Group Marketing Director Henri Paul has announced that Bianca Spanka, the Ukrainian Supermodel, will no longer front the prestigious label's advertising campaign.

In front of a packed Milan fashion show he said:

"Certain issues have come to light over recent weeks that mean we can no longer retain Miss Spanka's services"

Veteran fashion reporter Lawrence Llewellen-Melon asked for clarification and it was then that Paul dropped his bombshell as he announced to a packed Milan fashion show:

"Bianca has developed a second arse and although it's just as shapeley as her first, we feel that two arses will not show our clothing off to good effect. It's more than the public will accept we believe"

After the amazing news was absorbed by a packed Milan fashion show, we returned to the every day world of haute couture and watched as a succession of mono-arsed models paraded in some of the most preposterous outfits you've ever seen in all your puff.

One bird, and I kid you not, was wearing a hat that looked like a replica of a Lancaster Bomber and they've the cheek to say that two arses looks odd! Purrrlease!

Trinny and Susannah wanted to make a statement to The Spoof but we told them to sling their hook.

Anyway it's believed that Bianca's second arse is as a result of a liaison she recently had with a former KGB officer who was knobbled by a radioactive spray; one of the side effects of which is her second arse.

Doctors in London's Barts hospital have said they don't know if the second arse is a permanent feature but in the meantime the have suggested that Bianca approaches Andrex to see if they've got anything going.

Let's face it readers, we could do with getting rid of those bloody annoying little doggies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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