Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 23 June 2015

image for Twitter declares itself mad!
to tweet or not to tweet matters not, it's all INSANITY!

Social media giant, Twitter, has declared itself insane and several white vans driven by men with straight jackets in their hands (difficult that) were seen entering their HQ in Silicone Valley!

The reason for this astonishing declaration is obvious, several ex-Spoofers have been discovered spreading their seeds of the 'sickness' onto the site and they seem to have even infiltrated the minds of those who run the damn thing!

Clivey Dee, ex-Spoofer 'enfant terriblé' and Jaggedone, total nutter, seem to be the main perpetrators and every attempt to stop the virus spreading has failed as their lists of 'followers', mesmerised by the madness, grow majestically on a daily basis.

In a desperate attempt to flog Twitter to Facebook for several billions it seems even that failed because Wayne Rooney and other top footy stars can't write more than 200 words and can only post selfies of themselves, boring! So Twitter would have lost millions on multi-millionaire morons abandoning ship who can only spell "big bucks"!

Clivey Dee and Jaggedone put in an offer of $1,50, but it was flatly refused and they were told they were either handicapped or knee-capped until Clivey Dee, alias Soz Satire, told them to fuck themselves and Jaggedone agreed!

The owners of Twitter were driven mad and now they have entered rehab with the owners of Google + in an attempt to save the world from Facebook, but Jaggedone and Clivey have already planted their seeds in Facebook! So it seems like the planet is on the brink of a major "Insanity Plague" and VIP tickets are being issued by the writer of this remarkable spoof!

More as we tweet it!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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