Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 30 November 2006

image for Thespian takes the biscuit for impersonating Cruise ex-wife
The resemblance is uncanny

Hollywood, CA - (Associated Mess): The Australian lookalike actress whose decade long career of impersonating Tom Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, has been awarded the movie industry's ultimate accolade of "Hollywood Doppelganger of the Year" following reports that she now commands a whopping $1 million per performance.

The news comes after forensic tests on a Daytona Beach property confirmed that an Antipodean redheaded female received a traditional Scientological internment ceremony there some ten years ago after a quasi-religious pre-mating purification rite went horribly wrong.

Cruise, 49, has been at great pains to distance himself from the impersonatrix despite having been in the news for sending her regular maintenance checks of up to $100 a month - a near Hollywood record given his reputation for miserliness and reluctance to part with any hard earned cash.

And in a sinister twist, an LA agent has claimed to have secured the movie rights to this russet-headed diva's life story provisionally entitled 'Cruise Control II'.

More details are to be announced shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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