Written by Harry Klondike
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Saturday, 18 April 2015

image for Conjoined Twins Come Clean

Fort Wayne, IN: Mindi and Bindy rose to fame 5 years ago after the biography and accompanying documentary (Eye to Eye; The Only Way to See It) gave hope to millions of able bodied people who realized how much worse their lives could be. In the expose' the twins, who are joined upside-down at the forehead, claimed with a coquettish giggle "the only real inconvenience we face is having people ask us if our names are real.

According to the book and documentary, they were happy, healthy and had normal sex lives with stable romantic men. Now, they're back promoting a new book, with an extraordinarily different tone. This time it's an auto/duet-biography- "OUR STORY" Mindy says.

The new memoir "We Can Feel You Staring" reveals how miserable their entire lives have been. Bindy said; "Look we wanted money- wanted not needed, we're obviously on disability, but extra cash is extra cash. The original book had nothing to do with us other than using our medical records and..."

Mindy continues mid-sentence: "That stupid documentary - Jesus what a fucking joke! They were feeding us these lines and we're both thinking no one's gonna believe this shit. SEX LIVES!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?! Who the hell would wanna fuck us!?!"

Bindy chimes in: "Even if they did, they'd have to be totally deranged. WE'RE CONNECTED AT THE FUCKING FOREHEAD FOR CHRIST SAKE!!! We look like a crab- all arched up walking sideways down the street. "

When asked if they're happy the word "NO" was said in firm uniformity. They reportedly hate one another and each hopes to out live the other if only for a few minutes so as to have the pleasure watching the life drain from the their siblings eyes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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