Written by Harry Klondike
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Topics: TV, sitcom

Monday, 17 July 2017

Media-Stats Inc. a data collection hub based in Burbank, CA. has revealed that the 1980's sitcom "Benson" is the least remembered show ever to air on television.

David Weintraub an executive for Media-Stats said; "To say Benson is least remembered would actually be generous. In actuality there is a near cognitive vacuum- a blank spot if you will, regarding this show.

"We were intrigued enough to look at the Nielsen ratings for that time period. There are what is called Nielsen families. Those people allow home units to monitor viewing habits. We tracked them down because we knew for certain they were definitely watching Benson.

"The next step was to create two categories, occasional watchers and devoted viewers. In both cases 99.8% of viewers had no knowledge a show called Benson ever existed. A minute .2% had a vague recall of the shows opening theme song when primed with an audio sample. The reasons are perplexing since it did well in the ratings.

"We've even had DARPA order every episode to study it and see if there is an unintended amnesia evoking quality the show has. It could be anything from frame rate, color schemes, speech pattern- who knows.

"If it can be pinned down I imagine they (DARPA) would weaponize it, while we would try to avoid it's occurrence in commercials."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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