(Los Angeles--CA) Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, the love that was to last for eternity, or at least for another season of Chaotic, couldn't make it past the shelf life of the average Twinkie. But today Britney Spears told reporters why. The breakup of their marriage? Spears obsession with former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.
"The rumors of Kevin's Vegas partying and not being a good Dad, are, well, true. But that's not why I dropped him like I do Sean Preston," Spears told reporters at a press conference held at the Beverly Wilshire. Spears confessed that though she's a Republican and supports George Bush, but "ever since Saddam Hussein crawled out of that spider hole he crawled into my heart. He's been the dictator to my Iraq for two years now."
Over the course of the two years, the fascination became a full-blown obsession, with Spears sending the former dictator no less than 1,500 e-mails. Calls to the CIA could not confirm the exact number and were returned with the following written statement. "Due to matters of national security we cannot confirm the exact number of e-mails sent by Ms. Spears to Mr. Hussein. However, we can say that any more correspondence and she would have worn out her send button." The statement also added that there was an ongoing investigation into an "IM emoticon" situation.
Spears was unusually honest and eloquent at the press conference. "I will always remember my time with Kevin, every time I write out an alimony check. But I was always a sucker for a man's man. And when Saddie shows up on my Plasma HD with that blue blazer, white shirt and beard - it's like I'm Kuwait, invade me!"
Spears wouldn't comment if Hussein felt mutually. However, sources from Al Jazeera have reported that "Hussein has strong feelings for the large breasted American songstress. And when the people of Iraq over throw the current puppet regime and elect him King for Eternity, he will make the songstress a first level wife in his harem."