Written by Gee Pee
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Monday, 16 February 2015

Instagram has repeatedly removed Chelsea Handler's breasts--or photos of them, to be exact--from its site on the grounds that the comedienne's mammary glands constitute "indecent exposure."

However, Handler has finally found an admirer, of sorts, for her tatas: Titter, the social media website, seems glad to have pictures of her titties.

"They're anything but 'indecent'; they're downright titillating," Titter's CEO Dick Head said.

"Better yet, the controversy associated with her flaunting her hooters is free publicity, too" he added with a grin.

Overall, the website's millions of users have no problem with Handler's displays.

"Let the lass show off her dugs," old-timer Lester Chester wheezed. "What's the big deal about a nipple? I seen plenty of udders when I was a boy working my daddy's farm. Chelsea don't have nothing Bossie didn't have."

Handler, however, claims her topless exhibitionism isn't "gratuitous." She only shows off her jugs when there's a sufficiently good reason for her to do so.

"I compared mine with Vladimir Putin's man boobs, and most people thought I came off a close second. Then, later, I flashed my 'headlights' to promote peace in the Mideast. When that didn't work, I bared my boobs while skiing to counter the weight of my backpack."

She also showed her breasts recently to prove she is not pregnant. "I proved my boobs weren't the blimps they'd have been had I been preggers," she declared.

"I have no doubt but that I will find many, many more occasions to warrant showing my knockers," the celebrity assured ogling reporters. "After all, I'm not only a damned funny comedienne, but I'm a dedicated exhibitionist, too, and exhibitionists, both by definition and by nature, have to exhibit themselves."

"Bring 'em on!" Head encouraged her. "There will always be a home for hooters like yours on Titters."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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