Written by Gee Pee
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Sunday, 15 February 2015

image for "The Odd Couple" gets odder
"The Odd Couple": Matthew Fairy will star as Madison to Lemon's Felatrice

As fresh out of new ideas as ever, CBS TV will air a "reprise" of the once-original sitcom The Odd Couple, in which an unmarried homosexual couple living in sin get on each other's nerves because one of them, Felatrice Hunger, is a neatnik while the other, advertising executive Madison Avenue, is a slob.

"You can't make this stuff up," CBS TV's CEO Lez Moore whined. "They're such perfect foils to one another--and such perfect fools--there just has to be laughs. The sound track will make sure of that!"

The Odd Couple started out as a way-off Broadway play by playwright Kneel Simian, starring Art Carne as Felatrice and Walter Mitty as Madison. The play was so terrible that no one wanted a part in it, and, as a succession of actors quit, the role of Felatrice was played, in turn, by Danny Thomas, Gene Levi and Crazy Craig Fergus; the role of Madison, by Jack Kluggmann, Martini Shotz, and Gerald Kelly.

The play was so bad that it spawned an "original" motion picture starring Mitty as Madison and Jack Lemon as Felatrice. Again, neither actor could stomach the asinine plot and Mitty was replaced by Pat Bungle; Lemon, by Ed Brackish and, later, Paul Doozey.

The movie was so horrible that it spawned an "original" sitcom series, which ran on ABC TV, starring, once again, Kluggman as Madison and, this time, Tony Randy as Felatrice.

The TV series was so ghastly that it spawned an "original" cartoon series, The Oddball Couple, starring Ronn Glaze as Felatrice and Flipper Wilson as Madison.

Now, CBS is resurrecting the franchise with Matthew Fairy starring as Madison and Jack Lemon's great-great-great-grandson, Tom Lemon, playing the role of Felatrice. What's different about the TV series is that Madison and Felatrice are male-to-female transsexuals.

"We were going to make them chicks," Moore said, "thinking that would be a new twist, but then we found that it's already been done, with The Female Odd Couple, Flo and Olive, way back in 1985--that's the problem with a really old property like this one: everything original's already been done--so we thought, what the hell, let's split the difference and make them chicks with dicks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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