Written by dave nelson
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Topics: Americans, Stupid

Friday, 13 February 2015

image for TLC Audience Shoould be Lobotomized - Would Elevate America says Research
"WHERE'S THE DOOR?!" -- Some "typical" Americans

The Center for Cultural Analysis in Berne, Switzerland has today released research which suggests that the United States of America could rise to "a new era of greatness" were the entire viewing audience of TLC were to be lobotomised.

The channel, which showcases educational programming, is anything but educational according to chief scientist Dr Moishe Pipick.

Dr. Pipick cited their latest new learning venture as announced by their head Executive VP of learning, Myron Schlocker: "TLC offers romance with a twist on Strange Love, premiering Wednesday, March 4 at 10p. Among those featured on the Thinkfactory Media series are a woman with hair measuring fifty feet who's married to a hairdresser, and another with a 15-inch waist achieved with corsets and an assist from her orthopedic surgeon husband."

Dr.Pipick concluded: "The morons who watch these mutations of humanity to learn about life really need to be lobotomized and isolated from the rest of society along with the entire TLC staff where they can just "learn" together in perpetual isolation!"

The research has been condemned by many supporters of TLC, especially Barney the Dinosaur and Bert, of Bert and Ernie fame. Ernie didn't want to get dragged into the politics of the issue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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