Written by D P Whitehead
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Tuesday, 10 February 2015

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Kanye West - Your'e a cock, your'e a cock. your'e a cock.

Kanye West has accused Walmart of "disrespecting shelf stacking" by handing Dave Goddard of Fort Lauderdale an employee of the month award instead of Beyonce, after interrupting the awards ceremony, held in the break room of the superstore located south of US 1.

The rapper also said he thought Goddard "should've given his award to Beyonce."

"I just know that Walmart, if they want real hard workers to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain't gonna play with them no more," he told a throng of hangers on, douche-bags, wankers and pricks as he was interviewed alongside wife Kim Kardashian, who had just popped into the mega store to purchase a personality.

"And Dave Goddard needs to respect hard work and he should've given his award to Beyonce."

This is second time that West has interrupted an awards ceremony in recent years with a childlike outburst. In 2007 West demanded that 8 year old girl guide Sarah Johnson hand over her award for selling the most girl guide cookies to Beyonce who he claimed "was more deserving of the award".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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