It has been announced that Pogues frontman Shane McGowan has been appointed as the new face of Colgate toothpaste.
Wild man McGowan is believed to have just shaded the decision from Brad Pitt and Emilio Estevez in a closely fought contest.
A delighted McGowan told The Spoof:
"See...roight? I'm feckin' delighted with this decision. It's a feckin' victory for the ordinary lookin' guy. Roight?"
Jean Chrostophe Heehon, group European Marketing Director of the dental care giant said:
"It is fantastique that Shane has been chosen. He is so rugged and good looking in a 'rough as arseholes' sort of way"
Monsieur Heehon then gave McGowan the traditional Fench greeting of a peck on either cheek and McGowan reacted by sticking the nut on him.
"That's not my feckin style" snarled the punk-folk hellraiser.
The Spoof understands that Mr Heehon was released from hospital after being kept in overnight for observation but had thankfully sustained no lasting injuries.
Meanwhile Colgate is said to be reviewing its decision and Brad Pitt was seen going into their London office this morning.