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Saturday, 31 January 2015

image for Coming soon, from the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli: Elena the Latina!
"I'm Elena, and I'm Latina. I'm so politically correct that I actually rhyme!"

HURRAY for HOLLYWEIRD!, CA -- Dizney Studios "is proud," Donald Duck quacks, "to introduce our first Latina princess, Elena."

According to Duck, the princess' debut will occur in "Sofia The First," an episode of Dizney Jr.

Why isn't the episode called "Elena The First"?

"You have to watch to find out," Daizy Duck, Donald's bitter half quacked.

Dizney has big things planned for Sofia or Elena or whatever her name is. She's going to receive her very own series, Sofia of Avalor, or Elena or Avalon, or something like that.

Why "Avalor" (or "Avalon")?

"You have to watch to find out," Daizy Duck, Donald's bitter half, quacked.

Critics claim that the motive for Dizney's introduction of an Hispanic princess is simple: "The studio wants to capitalize on the stream of illegal Mexican and South Americans who are invading the United States day in and day out, week after week and month after month, all year, every year. The surge in border crossings by of illegal aliens has created a massive third-world audience for Dizney to patronize and exploit, right here at home."

"That may be part of the reason," Goofy, another Dizney mouthpiece howled, "but, mostly, we are interested in providing multicultural models for a global audience of up-and-coming consumers."

That's the reason, the canine spokesdog barked, for the series' production in 125 languages, including English, and its distribution to 154 nations.

"We're going big," Goofy yapped. "We estimate that no fewer than 207households will be bombarded with Elena the Latina. We've created a story--and a character--with universal appeal to a diverse audience, albeit, mainly of girls between the ages of two and seven."

Dizney also predicts that its new series will "generate mega-millions" in sales and licensing fees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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