Written by D P Whitehead
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Saturday, 3 January 2015

A Florida man, whose New Year's resolution landed him with a restraining order, has vowed one way or another to kick actor Martin Freeman up the arse.

Freeman, know for his roles in Sherlock, Love Actually, Fargo and as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit applied for the restraining order after the Fort Lauderdale based author chased the confused actor along Oxford Street in London, during a recent stay in the UK.

Whitehead said "I saw Freeman and thought to myself, this is a great opportunity to kick the Hobbit, especially as he was puffing on a cigarette."

It has been reported that Freeman, who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, called Whitehead 'a moron'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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