Written by Sandy Limestone
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Tuesday, 23 December 2014

image for Geldof taken down by Amazon
Amazon

Sir Bob Geldof has taken his 30th anniversary supergroup Band AID to the Amazon for what was meant be a secret Christmas special finale to Band AID 30. The supergroup haven't been able to perform the hit 'Do they know It's Christmas?' as they had intended on doing in the Amazon this Christmas day.

The singer-songwriter, father, missionary and brainchild behind Band Aid wanted to perform his Christmas hit 'Do they know It's Christmas?' with his charity supergroup to a never before contacted tribe in the deepest part of the Amazon.

Unfortunately things didn't go according to plan, and everything took a turn for the worse after making contact with a mysterious tribe called the Chumbawamba tribe.

Shortly after encountering the tribe the supergroup nearly lost complete contact with the outside world. Their only communication has been from text message via satelite.

A worrying text message arrived last week by an anonymous member from the team in the jungle: "They are completely stressed out by us, they are even more stressed by any device that has a sound, light or an image. I think, they think, they're weapons of some sort. They are destroying all of our equipment. I've managed to hide this phone. We are helpless in the jungle. Get us out of here. Please!"

It turns out that the enigmatic tribe were completely startled because they had never seen a human from outside their immediate environment let alone any electrical equipment.

The charity supergroup will all be heading home soon with any luck, as Geldof has recently made contact saying: "They may not know, or even want to know it's Christmas, but they do seem to know who I am now. Mission complete. We're coming home!"

Needless to say Band AID will not be singing 'Do they know It's Christmas?' to the tribe of Chumbawamba or any other isolated tribe in the Amazon as they had previously planned on doing on Christmas day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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