Written by Keith Shirey
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Friday, 5 December 2014

image for Peter Pan Turns Out To be A Whore
FULMING PIXIE DUST

In mythology, the god Pan was a fertility god, most often represented as a satyr, that sexually insatiable beast of the forest. Another aspect of Pan is that of the Horned God. He was often associated with and identified with Satan.

But today, "Pan"has been matched with the word "Peter." This Peter Pan has refused to grow up, seemingly having an unresolved childhood complex.

Not portrayed as a sexual being in the modern version of "Peter Pan," and now perhaps a female, she/he has however reverted to past characteristics of Pan, as she/he is a male/female prostitute for Walmart. Variety reports that "A computer-generated version of the beloved character will sprinkle pixie dust on behalf of Wal-Mart during the commercial breaks for NBC's broadcast of 'Peter Pan Live!'" Walmart is the lead sponsor of the show.

In five Walmart ads slated to run during the program, Melissa Joan Hart, who plays Pan, will appear in scenes that play off "Peter Pan" moments in the show while showcasing products available at Walmart by sprinkling pixie dust on them.

Of interest is that John Holmes, CEO of Well Hung Productions, is directing a pornographic version of Peter Pan where he is a horned, horny creature of the Pan in past mythology. In the midst the steamy goings-on, the camera will cut to various sexual devices manufactured by Well Hung that play off certain sexual moments in the production.

"In my version it is clear who "Peter" is. And we all know what that word is slang for. Peter Pan has no dubious sexuality and certainly not arrested development in my film. It is not like the like upcoming NBC production. Furthermore, nobody whores for anybody in my production. It's morally upright and erect," said Holmes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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