Written by Cool Papa Bell
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

At 56, Madonna has posed topless for a magazine photo shoot, hoping to prove that the same 16-year-old boys first experiencing the wonders of manhood by masturbating to her nude photos 30 years ago, will still do as lonely, broken, well-moisturized middle-aged deviants.

This week, Madonna exposes her breasts in a provocative yet slightly disconcerting photo shoot -- like the time you saw your crazy aunt singing "Barracuda" naked in the shower while straddling a loofah -- for Interview's December issue / Interview Magazine. The shoot comes just a few months after her 56th birthday, for which she posted an iconic 1980s photo of herself topless, at a time when she had not yet discovered lady razors.

The new photos show that Madonna's body has held up well over time, thanks to advances in breast augmentation, photoshopping, cougar worship and masturbation delusion.

"The human body is a beautiful thing to behold, even as it ages," Madonna told the magazine. "My nipples are like ever-ripening pieces of fresh, sweet fruit. Just don't leave them in direct sunlight for too long."

Madonna is encouraging her long-time male fans to pick up a copy of the magazine, and believes it could provide a medical last resort for many of them who cry themselves to sleep at night.

"If you can't get it up for this, it's probably time to take up crocheting and needlepoint," she said.

Make Cool Papa Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 3?

9 22 6 13
34 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more