Written by Anne of Cleavage
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Sunday, 16 November 2014

image for Fans in uproar as Dr Who is suspended by General Medical Council for "touching a Dalek's wand"
"Give me some head! Exterminate!"

Camp British adventurer Dr. Who has been suspended for 6 months by the GMC Fitness to Practise Panel after being found guilty of "touching a Dalek's wand".

The unnamed Dalek alleged that the incident a few years ago, telling the Panel "THA DOKTA TOUCHED ME. EXTERMINATE! HE TOUCHED ME IN MY WAND. EXTERMINATE! I FEEL DIRTY. EXTERMINATE!"

Daleks are metal can shaped aliens from the planet Skaro which have wand-shaped metal protuberances which they use to do things like kill people. The wand is apparently sensitive to touch and gets rigid very easily.

Dr Who claimed that he was "saving the earth from a Dalek invasion", a defence which the Panel rejected. The Chairman told him "You are a dirty old man and you will be suspended for 6 months."

Some fans have protested against the penalty, which means no more Dr Who episodes till summer next year. The Gallifreyan Time Lord, meanwhile, was unavailable for comment, having disappeared off in his Tardis leaving behind a note that said "See you 6 months in the future, suckers!".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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