Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 4 October 2014

image for Ebola testing at Hamptons Film Festival ahead of Wednesday's eclipsed blood moon
Blood red supermoon is the second of four Tetrads responsible for spreading pandemics

Long Island - Astrologers advising the 22nd Hamptons International Film Festival are recommending the installation of a giant anti-Ebola sheep dip at Montauk Airport ahead of Wednesday's lunar eclipse.

The blood-red supermoon will be conjunct Uranus and opposing the Sun in Libra - a classic pandemic configuration first identified by ancient Mesopotamian stargazers during the notorious Ebola outbreak of 3100 BC.

Its climax will occur on the eve of the Festival's opening when viral activity is likely to be most intense, doubtlessly bolstered by additional zodiac aspects such as Venus Square Pluto and Mars Trine Jupiter.

A retrograde Mercury doesn't exactly help, either.

This weekend Festival organisers were being urged by Silver Screen seers to mix their own formulation of insecticide and fungicide for use against the external parasitic threat.

"We have a large range of wettable powders, pastes, solutions and suspensions that film goers can use," an East Hampton resident tweeted this morning, "some available in underarm deodorant form, some as snortable remedies."

Commenting on developments a Federal Emergency Management Agency anti-pandemic division spokesperson said, "Sheep Dip is old CIA slang for a cover story originally linked to Project Oxcart Before The Whorse.

"In computing terms it can also refer to passing files through a dedicated computer to test for flies and bugs and viruses lurking inside."

A number of tickets remain for Thursday night's Festival premiere at the East Hampton Plaza Theater.

Click here for your chance to win entry to the post-sceening VIP party hosted by movie tycoons from Amagansett.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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