Theatre Impresario Sir Kingston Bagpuize was today recovering from the shock of finding out that he hasn't actually died at all.
Bagpuize, from Clymthorpe Blinkshire, was all smiles as he recounted the events of the past week.
"It all began last Friday darling" he gushed theatrically. "I was taking breakfast with my wife and casually reading the obit's in the Times when all of a sudden I noticed I'd died.
Well you could have knocked me down with a feather because, for the life of me, I couldn't remember dying. As long as you don't count the Alhambra Liverpool.
However as my wife pointed out I have been forgetting things rather a lot recently, so of course I just put it down to that." laughed the old Thespian.
When The Spoof asked him what it was like being dead, he projected:
"Well it was rather like being alive really. Mind you, when I realised that I wasn't a gonner I was rather sad that all the beautiful tributes paid by one's colleagues in the business would now be of no real practical use"
However Bagpuize has used the hilarious mix-up to try and resurrect his failing career. He hasn't actually trod the boards now for ten years. He told us:
"Make sure you tell your readers that I'm available for Panto. My Dick is legendary luvvie" he intoned in a rich, fruity and rather mellow voice.