Written by Gee Pee
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Thursday, 4 September 2014

image for Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!
"What's wrong with dancing?" senior Cyn Hard demands.

BENNINGTON, VT - Students--especially coed students--at Bennington, VT's, Catholic academy, Mount Anthony Union High School, really know how to "get down"--and their principal, Susie Q. Maguire is not happy about her student body's fancy moves.

In fact, the Mother Superior is putting her foot down. "I have canceled the school's junior-senior prom," she announced to students' parents in a letter sent to their homes.

What's aroused the Mother's ire?

Miley Cyrus, as it turns out.

The female version of Justin Bieber is a role model for many of the schoolgirls at Mount Anthony-in a bad way, as far as Mother Macquire is concerned.

Specifically, it's her students' imitations of Miley's infamous twerking that has the principal all hot and bothered. "They picked up the scandalous contortions by watching the devil's child 'perform' on her Wrecking Ball video and during her concert Bangher.

In her note to the students' parents, Mother Macquire described twerking as "dancing to in a sexually provocative manner by squatting low and thrusting one's hips back and forth and from side to side, as if one were a bitch in heat."

Furthermore, the twerker doesn't face anyone else, and she moved from one "partner," of either sex, to another, pantomiming indiscriminate fornication."

To clarify her position, the principal has included a tape of Miley's "antics" with her note to her parents' students.

PTA President Myra Meekly, asked what she thought of Miley's moves, grinned. "To quote a favorite 'performer' of my own, 'There's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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