Written by Shetland Gal
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Monday, 1 September 2014

image for Celebrity Flash Fiction Literature Big Brother
Bart in the Diary Room

It's a first for the world of Short Story Flash Literature as six brave 'flashters' enter the Big Brother House. These famous flash fiction writers take part in a six week series they hope will rival the Monty Python Team for amazing satire.

It seems that the arguments have already started before the flashters enter the enclosure with rumours of Flash Friday upsets, in which the Police were called after an online skirmish broke out in the Flash Friday Forum over the word 'obsidian'.

We have housemates from all over the UK, with one exception - Voimaoy, a native Indian of Chicago,a poetic cat embalmer. She will be bringing some glamour to the house.

Leading the way is the raunchy Avalina Kreska, she recently hit the headlines after being ordered to serve 760 hours of community service to the puffins at Sumburgh Head, Shetland, she will talk about why she's confined to a remote island in the North Sea.

Stella, ghostly and stealth-like, a master of real characters. Oh, where's she gone?

Also entering the house is Shakes, a man inspired by the X Files, and the Twilight Zone, Bart-author of 'Life's too short for short stories', Mark whose use of poetics and rich language stuns his readers into submission and Karl who's selling his collection of short stories for charity.

Karl, a favourite for winning the show said 'Yeah, these guys haven't got the staying power, often I'm known to write two entries in a writing competition. They're pussies, I'll wipe the floor with 'em.'

I managed to grab a moment with Voimaoy, she was wearing her famous exquisite fur coat. 'Oh, it'll be salubriously lovely darling, can I bring my cats? I've got a collection of 48, they go everywhere with me. I don't care about winning, it will be such a hoot to meet up with these guys in the flesh. No, the coat stays on at all times.'

Bart, a master of spin didn't have much to say but grinned wildly whilst shaking my hand. 'Diary Room mate, looking forward to the Diary Room.'

Shakes was enthusiastic. 'I hope some zombies show up, I could do with some new horror material, that'd be cool!'

Of course it wouldn't be Celebrity Literature without Mark. He is a real gent. 'My dear, you look like a beautiful emerging flower, nectar lining the tresses of life, clinging to every pore - the ache filling the widening crevasses of truth as the silken... oh, sure, I'd be glad to. I'm totally thrilled at being invited to stay with these wonderful, wonderful people. Just THRILLED!'

I managed to grab Avalina, here's what she had to say.

'Yup, the guys better watch out, I'm seriously into winning and I'll use any means to do it. Sex, violence - you name it. Why I live on a remote island? You couldn't handle the answer darling.'

You will not want to miss it.

Hosted by Dragoness Postupak - tonight's Celebrity Flash Literature Big Brother launch comes just three days after the most recent run of the normal Big Brother came to a close and there was nothing better to offer.

Make Shetland Gal's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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