New York - Surgeons working on the fallout of Joan Rivers' latest plastic surgery adventure have put the 80 year-old into a stoma according to reports.
The procedure is described as a surgically created abominable - uh, abdominal! - opening that allows stools, urine and other stuff to exit the body.
Three types of stoma were identified at the Seedy Sinai Mammorial Clinic where Rivers was admitted on Tuesday following the collapse of a 1990s butt-lift.
Eventually a decision was made to connect just one of her body cavity parts to the outside environment.
"The entertainer's fans will never know the difference," one of the hospital's medical plumbers said, "mostly because latest high-tech pouching systems are virtually undetectable without the use of sonar."
Rivers' latest comeback show will now be rescheduled pending further medical probes.