Top ITV hit 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' is tonight tottering on the brink of coming off the rails and all turning to shit.
The top-rated show that is captivating the UK public may look all fine and dandy on the face of it but don't you believe it! The Spoof has the inside track on the behind the scenes goings on, wranglings and machinations.
"The starving big cheeses from the world of showbiz are getting well hacked off because programme supremos won't give them any scran" exposes a production crew member.
"In particular David Gest has been warned not to try and eat that really unpleasant Scott guy (whoever he is) by the shows bosses" adds our mole who is our source too.
Meanwhile the girls are dining on pizza and caviar all the way. Ex-newsreader Jan Leeming is said to be touched at the way the nation has taken her to its heart.
Geordie duo, and the presenters of the show, Ant and Dec are said to be getting more and more irritating by the minute and rumours abound about throwing them both to the crocodiles.
A spokesman for Strictly Come Dancing has commented:
"The jungle show's OK but it's not a patch on our programme. I mean just look at our fancy costumes and frocks and tell me they aren't better than a load of minging trackie bottoms and Crocodile Dundee hats