Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 17 August 2014

image for Madonna sends one million bottles of Kabbalah Water as Ebola holy cure
Dry cure back bacon, absolutely no connection

New York - Cynics insist it's just a toxic cocktail of surplus aircon coolant and radiator overflow from bleeding her Manhattan condo central heating system.

This morning one million litres of Madonna's holy Kabbalah Water was enroute to Ebola-torn Sierra Leone where it will probably end up flushing out the capital's contaminated municipal drains.

However Material Girl is keen to stress that the potent flow famously removed all radioactivity from a contaminated Chernobyl lake.

That makes its power to neutralise the Ebola virus something of a no-brainer.

"It works on a subliminal, sub-molecular level," Material Girl's spokesperson said.

"Think high-octane-homeopathy-meets-hydrochloric acid and you won't be far wrong."

The consignment is insured for five million dollars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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