Written by Frank Cotolo
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Friday, 15 August 2014

SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. -- Information on the death of actor/comedian Robin Williams continues to surface and make news days after his apparent suicide shocked the world. The slow stream of information has, however, gone from the sublime to the ridiculous, as strange and unconfirmed details emerge.

Perhaps this is how legends are born, spilling tall tales atop the history of a celebrity?

From Sri Lanka, for instance, comes a report that Robin Williams spent months in the small country studying for the lead role in the movie Gandhi. The story claims that Williams lived the role for months until he ran into Sir Ben Kingsley, who had come to Sri Lanka to study for the lead role in the movie Gandhi.

The unknown author of the story wrote that Robin and Ben originally thought there would be two movies with the same title about the same historic figure of India. Then, director Richard Attenborough came to scout some location scenes and told Robin and Ben there would be only one film and he was undecided which actor to use.

"This is where it became ugly," it was said by a witness quoted in the report. "Williams became violent, ripping Sir Ben's bald wig off of his head and chewing it, making funny sounds like he did playing Mork."

The rift continued, according to reports, and Robin began to raise an army.

"Mr. Williams was behaving more like the guru in the movie Gunga Din than Ghandi," said an alleged witness. "He built a snake pit and recruited peasants--calling them pheasants for a laugh--and armed them, promising they would attack Sir Ben."

When it was announced that Sir Ben got the role, Williams demanded his army march north and hide in the hills. Of course the members laughed and the army disbanded.

The report concluded by describing a distraught Robin Williams, who stayed in Sri Lanka to become a heavily medicated snake charmer before being seduced back to Hollywood for a Comic Relief concert.

Due to his enormous success, it is highly possible that unaccredited tales of Robin Williams will continue as long as his fans want.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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