Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Trolls, Troll

Sunday, 10 August 2014

image for Troll Manically 1 Stars As Many Books As She Can Before Embarking On Two Hour Long Masturbation Session

A prolific book reviewer on a popular book review website (and troll cave)has managed to "1 Star" over 500 books she hasn't read before embarking on a marathon session of self abuse.

Beth Varicose, 57 - holder of the World Record for having more double chins (18) than anyone else on the planet and is the unfortunate victim of facial hemorrhoids embarked on her "1 Star" rampage late Thursday afternoon.

Cloaked by her secret troll identity and troll pseudonym 'Miss Understood' her frenzy began in earnest at 3 p.m. - by 6 p.m. her chubby fingers, red raw from hitting her keyboard like a mad woman; she began her two hour "self pleasuring" routine that involved a thermos flask, a traffic cone, cake and even more cake.

Varicose, who lives alone, apart from 27 cats has never been married, rarely showers and dyes her hair GINGER!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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