Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 20 July 2014

image for OMG, someone's put a slug in Courtney Stodden's lettuce bikini
Easy on the mayo, guys, it can stain like hell

Washington DC - Something slimy has creeped its way out of Courtney Stodden's Butterhead lettuce bikini during a vegan beauty parade.

And nibbled a hole in the Iceberg leaves that barely cover the TV star's 44DD bikini cups.

TV cameramen filming 19 year-old Courtney's awesome body zoomed in quickly on the snail trail zigzagging all over her ample bronzed breast.

"Uh, looks like some sorta escapee from the Japanese snail facial salon," sound recordist Bud Buzzhead tweeted as more leaf munching appeared to close in on to nipple.

The event, part of the Annual Congressional Veggie Corndog Giveaway Day, was being sponsored by animal frights group PETA who coached the reality TV actress on her lines.

"Veggie corndogs are delicious and kinder to animals than their meaty brethren," Ms Stodden commented.

"Just easy on the mayo, it can stain like hell."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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