Written by queen mudder
Print this

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

image for Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss
Just say Aaah...

New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in the mouth.

This morning Douglas' diagnostic skills were in the frame once more as JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon revealed he too had been treated for throat cancer.

And that he'd been spammed with mouthwash tips from the dual Oscar winner, a veteran of multiple oral pathogen probes.

"Uh, nothing that's seen the inside of Michael's oesophagus is related to my own," the banker revealed at a Manhattan press conference.

"Besides, who really knows what foreign bodies and toxic spores get up to in those dark, dank spots, certainly not my proctologist."


Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

7 10 22 16
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more