Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

image for Rolf Harris portrait of the Queen disappears from royal baby's nursery
Some art critics panned the portrait for the condom packet in the sitter's hand

London - A 2005 oil on canvas of Queen Elizabeth executed by convicted Oz pervert Rolf Harris has 'vanished' from Prince George's nursery at Kensington Palace.

Commissioned to mark her 80th birthday the 8ft by 6ft portrait was first hung in 2007 at the Queen's Gallery in Buckingham Palace where Rolf received his knighthood for services to the heir brush industry.

Palace curators eagerly assimilated the painting into the royal collection for generations of up and coming royal wallabies - uh, wannabes! - to be photographed beside it before 'gifting' the picture to young Prince George.

This morning it was missing from its pride of place in the royal brat's newly installed two million squid nursery where the 'smiling Granny pic' had beamed down from on high.

It is believed to be the second portrait of the Queen to go missing in mysterious circumstances from a royal residence following last year's vanishing act of a 6ft square watercolor of Elizabeth painted by the country's most prolific sex pest Jimmy Savile.

Other portraits of HM which have gone walkabout never to be heard of again include Lord Lucan's 1972 rendition of Elizabeth in full Garter regalia and a companion painting of Prince Philip.

Jerry Sandusky's upcoming exhibition of American royalty has now been out on indefinite hold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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