Written by Frogmarsh Peterson
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Sunday, 23 November 2003

image for Hamiltons get talk show
Neil and Christine - never far from the lime-light

Neil and Christine Hamilton land new tea time slot on ITV1. It is hoped that Neil and Christine, the show's name, will rival Channel 4's Richard and Judy, which isn't a hard thing to do.

Christine Hamilton said on Friday that the show will capture the best and exclude the tosh of the Richard and Judy show.

"I like how Richard silences dotty Judy with a stamp to the toe here, an elbow to the ribs there. I want to do something like that in our show... Neil can be naughty sometimes and needs bringing back into line" - Christine Hamilton.

Both Neil and Christine have said that they would have decent guests, allow discussions to take place and do away with juvenile cheap competitions; this is where it will deviate from Richard and Judy.

It's reported that Richard Maddeley reacted violently to the news, smashing the TV and shouting in Judy's ear that they (she) need to get their act together.

Maddeley also made accusations that calls were made to his house by Neil in which he would sing 'there once was a show called Maddeley, Finnegan...'.

Neil and Christine will start their live show in the new year and will be on every week day at 5pm in direct competition with an already mentioned show.

With guests such as Ruby Wax, Anne Widdecombe, John 'Fred Elliot' Savident off Corrie, Claire Short and Terry Wogan expected to make appearances in January, the show is easily expected to outshine the drivel of other channels.

There will be a special 5 minute update on every Friday show in which Christine will name the 'Battle-axe of the week'.

"I'm going to announce which woman I feel has had balls that week, be it me, Thatcher, Christine Hamilton, Anne Widdecombe, Anne Robinson, Mrs Hamilton, me or whoever." - Christine Hamilton said in her basement 'play-room'.



The Hamilton's would like to point out that their play room is solely for such activities as table tennis, subuteo and knitting. Frogmarsh Peterson and The Spoof did in no way intend to portray the Hamiltons in a lewd light.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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