Written by Adrian Booth
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Friday, 23 May 2014

It's the stuff fairytales are made of; Kim Kardashian is to finally wed her incredibly wealthy, highly successful soul mate, Kanye West. This is the most highly anticipated wedding of the year, possibly of all time, and has divorce lawyers across the United States buzzing with excitement.

"I haven't been this excited in my entire career", said divorce lawyer Matthew Hayes. "It's just a train wreck waiting to happen, and a train loaded full of cash!".

Like many divorce lawyers, Hayes is hoping to pick up some hefty fees from the inevitable split between Ms Kardashian and Mr West. Given how shallow and vacuous this relationship was from the start, Hayes has already taken out a second mortgage and a house boat in the Bahamas in preparation for the big payouts to follow.

Not everybody is convinced this marriage is the clusterfuck some are making it out to be. Some are even certain the couple's story could become a Disney movie, with some critics calling for the production of 'Blacky and the Bitch', or 'Sleeping Booty'.

Given that this is Kardashian's third marriage in 14 years, some close to the famous porn star are using the "third time lucky" rule as a convincing argument that this one will last. Your correspondent has already placed bets at bookies across the country with a £80,000 payout if the couple split within 3 years. Divorce lawyers aren't the only ones rubbing their hands in excitement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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