Written by E. Williams
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Monday, 12 May 2014

image for Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite "99 Problems" After Sister-in-Law Becomes Number 100

New York City - Famous rapper Jay-Z thought he had it made. Married to one of the most famous people in the world, singer Beyonce, the wordsmith has been enjoying life since 2004 when he announced he only had ninety-nine problems. That is hundreds less than the average person and he has made the most of his mostly carefree life ever since.

But life has a way of maintaining balance in the universe and, like the old saying goes, sometimes when one door closes, another one opens. This time it was an elevator door and, rather than another opportunity presenting itself, it was his sister-in-law from hell, Solange, raining down on him with some nasty language and her own version of MMA.

Dropping F-bombs, kicking and punching like a champ, Solange had to be restrained by a bodyguard. Jay-Z kept his cool and refrained from retaliating against the bitch. Beyonce also remained chill and allowed her sister to look the fool all by herself.

The famous couple seemed unsure of what set off the sister but some suspect Jay-Z had been taunting her about how he only had "99 problems," and Solange said "You think you're all that? I'll give you problem number one hundred!"

Witnesses outside the fancy hotel where the incident occurred said that as the couple were climbing into their limo, the rapper muttered, "Stupid bitch. Now I've got to rework that damn song!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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