Los Angeles - Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken's close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future politicians. "These kids can sing so why shouldn't they lead our country too?"
Seacrest grinned while thinking of the possibilities, "I can envision a country where Carrie Underwood would be the hottest Secretary of State we've ever had. Are you telling me all world leaders wouldn't shut up and listen when she walked into a room? Come on!"
Ratings have been dropping in recent years and the show's producers have been looking for an angle to make the show relevant again. Clay Aiken has opened the door for all AI contestants to parlay their new fame into a political career.
"Phillip Phillips could be president! Seacrest exclaimed, "Who doesn't like that guy? And his name would be the easiest for stupid voters to remember!" He continued, "Jordin Sparks as 'Singer of the House', Adam Lambert could be the 'Ambassador of Cool', Taylor Hicks could be VP, and even Sanjaya…no, Sanjaya couldn't be anything. Never mind."
"These kids can rock the house and that's what this country needs. Sure, they don't have any experience in politics but can they do any worse than what we have right now?"
Future judges have yet to be determined but Aiken has said that if he lost his race he would be 'Aiken' to get back on the show as a judge. Ba-dum-bum. Steven Tyler and John Boehner are rumored to possibly fill the other two judge's seats.