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Thursday, 8 May 2014

image for Kayne and Kim's baby has "reverse zoolander syndrome."
artist composite of North in 15 years

In a bizarre revelation, it was um, revealed today that the baby of Rap Baron Kayne West and former porn star Kim Kardashian has been diagnosed with "Reverse Zoolander Syndrome."

A distort Kim carried her baby who is named "North West" accompanied by her mother Kris Jenner and Ryan Seacrest as they left Hollywood memorial hospital.

They refused to speak to media but OK magazine managed to speak with their doctor, world renowned surgeon Hans Slobber.

"Yes, the baby has reverse Zoolander syndrome, the first case of its kind, we are quite shocked but excited," explained the doctor as he drooled with delight.

What is reverse Zoolander Syndrome? This is the question we asked the doctor.

"Well," he replied, "in the zoolander movie, Derek Zoolander cannot turn left. North West can turn to both sides of her namesakes but she can not turn east or right which is the opposite of the problem of what Mister Zoolander had."

It is unknown what has caused this considering North isn't walking much yet or what effect this will have on her long term welfare.

"The reason we have called the condition, the reverse zoolander syndrome is because she can turn left but not right," the doctor clarified. If you hadn't already worked that out.

Kim has taken this in her stride and despite the initial shock has vowed to support research into the disease. Her daughter is the only one who has ever been diagnosed with the illness.

"Maybe it has something to do with her name, like she can only move in the direction of her namesake or something," offered a helpful aunt Chloe.

Kim was at a homeless shelter working in a soup kitchen determined to improve her family's image. She was also seen collecting donations off the homeless people in an effort to support finding a cure for the illness.

When asked why she was targeting people she was supposed to be helping for donations, she offered this explanation,
"I mean these people don't have a home, dignity or a job but my poor daughter can't turn right!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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