Written by jd Balderdash
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Wednesday, 15 November 2006

image for Janet Jackson to Play Super Bowl XLI
That infamous flying squirrel

FOX, in a bold move which will either send their ratings sky-rocketing into the stratosphere or get them slapped with a half billion dollar FCC fine hired Janet Jackson to perform live at next year's Super Bowl half-time show.

"We know we're taking a risk" one FOX executive said but went on to explain,

"Times have changed since .. that wardrobe malfunction a few years ago. Broadcast rules are looser. These days you can even show simulated sex between a moose and a flying squirrel during prime time without getting busted by the FCC. We're going to risk it and let Janet come out and do her thing."

That "thing", however has some FOX executives worried. Janet Jackson during an interview with Larry King assured the viewing audience that there really WAS a wardrobe malfunction last time and that it would not happen this time. Unless Justine Timberlake pulls too hard again and the whole OUTFIT comes flying off.

In addition to Timberlake again singing duet with Jackson, a star studded trio of Hollywood beauties with equally "loose" costumes will sing backup to Jackson's yet unwritten song. Paris Hilton, one of the backup singers said,

"I'm honored that Janet would choose me as one of her backup singers. And, I can assure everyone, if my top comes off it won't be because of a malfunction."

"Charmed" star Alyssa Milano, backup singer #2 agreed with Hilton going so far as to say that if any piece of clothing came off of her it would be because of an act of God.

"Or" she added, "a wardrobe malfunction which technically IS an act of God isn't it?".

Preliminary Nielsen polls 3 months before the actual broadcast if extrapolated correctly project that every single television set in America with a male behind the remote will be tuned into Super Bowl XLI. Stocks in TIVO rose sharply while Microsoft remained steady.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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