Written by E. Williams
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Saturday, 3 May 2014

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Batman caught counting cards

Las Vegas - Ben Affleck was caught 'counting cards' in Las Vegas this week and authorities are baffled as to why the actor was attempting such a feat. Apparently, Affleck was on a bender and claimed to be doing research for a role in the next Rain Man movie, which isn't even planned, instead of working on his upcoming Batman movie.

"I'm Batman. Yeah, de..de...definitely Batman," Affleck stammered as he was escorted away from the blackjack table. The dealer at the table, Rich Mann, said Affleck had been speaking all day in a low, gruff voice like Batman would in a movie but had also been stuttering as well.

"Tom Cruise stopped by to say hello when he got word Affleck was in the casino and Ben just freaked out!" Rich continued, "Sometimes these actors get so immersed in their roles, even away from the cameras, I think they even forget who they are at moments."

"I asked Ben how much he was wanting to bet and he kept saying, 'Of course, I'm an excellent driver. Then he was reminding everybody that it was ten minutes to Wapner.' I don't know what the hell he was talking about."

He was saying lines from Rain Man. "Oh, I get it. Sorry, I never saw the movie." Rich admitted.

Affleck was detained for an hour, then was released after snapping out of it and guessing it was just the casino atmosphere that caused him to switch roles. At this time, the investigation continues but no charges have been filed against the actor.

Director of the next Batman movie, Zach Snyder, was intrigued when he heard about the incident. "Batman as Rain Man? Batman vs. Rain Man? Now you've got me thinking. That might kick ass! We may have to rethink the whole script!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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