Written by Cool Papa Bell
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Thursday, 1 May 2014

DEEP, DEEP INSIDE THE KARDASHIAN COMPOUND, HOLLYWOOD -- It's being called a wonder of nature as a mixed-species newborn known as a kimkey is being cared for at the Kardashian family compound.

The marvel is the result of a one-nighter (well, an all-nighter) between a drunken Kim Kardashian and her fiancée Kanye West's pet donkey Zorro.

"Some people are calling it a mixed-species animal, but it's a 100 percent purebred ass," said obstetrician/zookeeper Dr. Phillip Swabbem. "I mean, look at the ass on that thing."

Kardashian said she has a nurturing nature, and it was a joy to give birth to an offspring conceived out of love and vodka.

"I've had a lot of unusual things in my vagina -- some of which are still lodged in there -- so a donkey penis wasn't that bad," said she. "I mean, after all it was still a PENIS, so it really didn't matter what it was connected to."

Kardashian said she doesn't know why the media is focusing so much scrutiny on the birth.

"It could have been a lot more freaky," she said. "I could have did it with Kanye's water moccasin Stretch."

Zorro is doing well, and has been sent to live with his kind of ex-stepfather Bruce Jenner. The foal/baby/little ass has been named Nor'easter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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