Written by Backandtotheleft
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Wednesday, 30 April 2014

image for Max Clifford V Dignity
There is absolutly no evidence the Reagan was touched by Max Clifford

Max Clifford was found guilty of several "historical sexual assaults" yesterday, or the day before that or the day before that, it really depends on when your reading this. Appearing outside the courthouse after the verdict had been announced Max looked his normal self, when we say "normal self" we mean like a permatanned Thunderbird puppet villain. He told the assembled press that his lawyers had informed him not to say anything about the case and he immediately walked off to a waiting car. At the time Back and to the Left news were unable to confirm if there were any vulnerable women already in the car when Max got in. We are also unable to confirm if there was anything in the boot or what type of make the car was (as a Daily Mirror photographer was blocking our view, bastards).

Mr Clifford known too many as a "PR guru", which in normal speak means he knows how to manipulate and make the most out of your microcosm of fame, looked shell shocked at the decision. A source close to Mr Clifford (well, he bumped into him once) confirmed his state of mind.

"Max is in shock, he's a old man and doesn't know if his arse will stand up the rigours of prison. He's spent the best part of a year helping to defend thousands of celebrities who have been accused of historic sexual assaults but now he's been caught himself. He just doesn't believe it."

What that these women came forward? We asked.

He replied:

"Yeah. Back in the day every Tom, Dick and Harry were sticking their hands down interns trousers. Quite frankly all these old men are now confused as to why their getting in trouble for it."

At least in prison they'll have a trained nurse giving them their meds at regular times.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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