Written by Cool Papa Bell
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

ON THE WHITE SIDE OF TOWN, NEW YORK CITY -- After the NBA banned him for life for racist remarks, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling has turned to acting, accepting a role in the upcoming "Seinfeld" reunion special on NBC.

Sterling will play a character called the "Chili Racist," known for his inflammatory nature and spoiled white beans, according to star Jerry Seinfeld.

"The funny part is not only that he doesn't like blacks, but he hates all minorities and ethnic groups, cab drivers, Shea Stadium vendors, even his teen-aged girlfriend and her associates," said Seinfeld.

"He has a little chili shop near Central Park, but he won't sell chili to anyone. No one. He won't even sell it to white people, unless they're wealthy and ill-mannered."

Seinfeld said Sterling's character will be quite the misogynist, primarily because he lost his chain of ''Chili Shed'' restaurants to his ex-wife in their divorce settlement, and now has to sell chili -- or not sell chili -- from an old, rat-infested Mexican restaurant with no pictures of white celebrities -- not even Sean Hannity -- on the walls.

"And he's not too fond of the mariachi band he found in the kitchen," Seinfeld said.

The script calls for Kramer (played by Michael Richards) to take a liking to Sterling's character, hoping to bond with him.

Kramer will discover that the ''Chili Racist'' is actually his father, through a youthful relationship with actress Nana Mouskouri.

"His father will hate him, primarily because his hair is really ethnic-looking," said Seinfeld.

In attempt to get closer to his father, Kramer also develops racist views.

"Can you imagine how hilarious it will be when Kramer goes off on some hateful, race-based rant," said Seinfeld. "Better than the real Michael Richards."

Seinfeld said the reunion special will feature a few minority actors -- "we'll probably have a couple of black characters who are refused service, a smattering of Hispanics and a few homeless people looking for free chili."

Despite a premise that is likely to cause controversy, Seinfeld said comedy has no boundaries, not even race.

"There's a lot of humor to be found in racism, especially if you're white."

Make Cool Papa Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

5 11 6 25

Go to top