Written by Burnred
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Thursday, 24 April 2014

image for The One Show's Alex Jones to become a Cornish citizen
Prince Charle's Missus Camilla - Selling Land

Since it was announced that Cornish people, and Cornwall itself will be granted minority status under European rules, flocks of British celebrities have announced that they'll be taking the opportunity to 'emigrate' to Cornwall. Richard and Judy, who have a cottage near the village of Badharlick, announced via their book club that they will now make their holiday retreat their permanent home.

The One Show's Alex Jones announced her intentions via twitter, "Im off to Cornwall, I do love a Cornish pasty". Other celebs rumoured to be emigrating include Sir Bruce Forsyth, Julian Clary and Rupert Grint.

Due to new EU regulations the 'Cornish Pasty' will now be re-labelled "The Beef, Pea and Mash Pastry" sold outside the county. Alex Jones continued, "I really do love a Cornish Pasty, I won't eat a bloody thing called a 'Beef, Pea and Mash Pastry' so I'm off down south".

When asked via Twitter if she was planning on learning the language, Alex replied, "It's a bit like Welsh isn't it?"

Due to the new regulations, Prince Charles will be forced to 'sell-off' all of his land, it's rumoured that Sir Bruce Forsyth has already put a bid in for 5600,678,900 acres of land.

We'll keep you posted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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