Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 April 2014

image for John Mayer Responds To Katy Perry's Attack
John said that Katy is jealous of him because he is a better singer and a better guitar player than her.

SAN FRANCISCO - John Mayer was up in San Francisco taking a tour of the old Alcatraz Prison.

He was asked by a reporter if he cared to comment on the verbal thrashing that ex-girlfriend Katy Perry unleashed on him.

John put out his Marlboro and said that he would.

Speaking with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors he said that Katy is just upset because he told her that she isn't anywhere near the singer that he is.

He then said that regarding her saying he has a type of svengali hold on women that is just not so. He said that he is just naturally charming, intellectual, witty, and he is an 11 plus in the mattress merriment department.

John then commented on Katy's remark that all he focuses on when he sees a woman is her boobs, legs, butt, and groin region.

He laughed and said that Katy and all of the other women he has dated all know that, that is true of 97.5 percent of all guys.

Mayer grinned as he asked Miss Vermicelli when was the last time that a guy commented on her IQ or on the deodorant that she uses.

Vermicelli smiled and replied that he definitely has a point.

John told her that he had to leave to catch a plane but added that truth be told Katy won't admit it but she really and truly liked getting kissed on the mouth by Miley Cyrus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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